I'm sorry you're struggling like this.
From what I've seen of your posts, you sound intelligent, thoughtful, and competent. So I don't think it's ineptitude. It seems like it's the emotions and the MI getting in the way of the talents you do have.

I'd suggest not letting the big picture overwhelm you with all the things that are wrong. From what you've posted elsewhere, you sound very discouraged by your perceived lack of school, work, and life accomplishments. Don't try to fix your entire life at once, but focus on the smaller pieces one at a time. If it's the MI that's the blocker, identify which parts you want to address first and work on that with whatever help you can get.

If that helps any. Emotions can really do a number on us.