You said it was a misunderstanding. You apologized 3 times. You said you care about me. You said you feel like I am putting you in the evil internal parent role again. We are talking at 4 30

Why do I still feel like you hate me. I've been depressed for a month now. The voices come in intense waves and its so hard to cope without drugs. I feel like I'm getting ****ed over. Every day with new and improved bullshyt. I'm so tired of everything especially myself and my mind. Please bear with me?????