Like I said - this is only started back up after a lot of stress started piling up on us due to where we live.

Prior to that - he went 3yrs of treating me like any other healthy relationship (we had our problems but we talked them over n found resolutions, he wanted to show his love to me and wanted love from me, both of us were more than willing to help one another, etc - ie "healthy") but - when the stressors piled in too long, he fell apart n went back to his old ways of coping - which never included anything healthy. He recognizes it so still will not go overboard like before, but there is a modicum of "can't control it" there too - which is why some seeps out. Like when a person who deals with depression finally gets it under control, and then the security they know in the world around them suddenly falls apart again - they rely on the coping techniques they knew to deal with it. If those techniques were healthy - awesome! If not - then its going to be hard for that person again.

Does that make sense?