I have moderate to severe social anxiety. I can have a girls night with myself and three other girls and feel the need to run and hide. With girl's nights like that, I can push through it with frequent trips to smoke, alcohol, and going to bed early.

I know it's last minute, but I'm hoping I can get a vial of courage for tomorrow.

I'm terrified of going to this family holiday. I know I have the option of showing up just for dinner and leaving like my mom who will because she works graves, but a part of me wants to face this fear and find a way to enjoy myself.

Here is what I am afraid of:

My Aunt. I feel like she dissects me with her eyes every time she sees me and silently judges me as she stares into my soul...and I don't know why she does that. I really like her as an aunt but I have the feeling of rejection above my head.

My two youngest cousins. I get so angry every time I think of them. They are spoiled rotten little monsters (who are WAY WAY WAY too old to act that way). They are beyond rude to everyone and have said some awful and hurtful things throughout the years. I'm not necessarily afraid of them, but afraid that they will say something awful that will trigger me to want to leave.

Another few things I am afraid of is no one to talk to...no one who will notice me...AND...to try my hardest to socialize and failing, looking like an idiot, saying the wrong thing, and feeling so alone in a crowded room.

Do you have any tips for someone with social anxiety on how to handle a big holiday gathering?