I had a dream about my husband and All day have been having flashbacks to the day I found him dead. It’s really quite awful. I’m pushing them down because I don’t want to feel that pain but I know that’s not going to help me In the long run. But seriously, not in the mood to fight with flashbacks.

I’ve had one week stable. That’s great. Makes me think it will stick. I should go back to work the first week of December but I won’t be discharged from my IOP program by then. I could just quit. I don’t think my regular t would support that though. I don’t know. In all honesty I just wish I could quit my job. I’m humiliated to go back and have to explain where I was. I know I don’t have to explain anything really but people talk, especially teachers. But also I can’t imagine suffering through another seven months. Ugh I hope they fire me at the end of the year so I can collect unemployment while I look for a job outside of education.

Sucks.