((((((((((((((((((((LMo)))))))))))))))))))))

I'm just so sorry...so sorry this is happening now, but happening in a more difficult way than it has to be. I do understand how difficult that is. I do understand how difficult, and confusing it is to lose your father with whom the relationship was strained, difficult. I hadn't seen my father for 14 years prior to his becoming terminally ill.

Anything you feel is OK...you're already aware of the MUCH you are feeling and it gives you a hint of what you're going to continue to feel. Please take very good care of yourself right now. Pamper yourself in the ways that you feel you're lacking from others.

I'd say you're going to continue to have those very childlike feelings, and all across the board, and you're entitled to them.

Your brother can't seem to see anyone but himself and your father right now, so please make sure you take care of you as you can. Whether or not he can help it, I don't know, but the fact still remains that he isn't considering you in this, and I can't imagine how many different ways you must feel about that.

You're all in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope that your brother can open up his experience to the family that he's a part of...all sharing much.

Love,

KD