Quote:
Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue
It's hugely to your credit that you think of him in this caring way.
I'm trying to really put myself in your shoes.
There are times in life when we suddenly find ourselves in an emergency situation. It doesn't matter how or why. It's not about blame. We're just in it.
I've had many.
Erm.... well, it's not about my experiences. (But I will share them if you think it will help).
A day like you describe cannot be repeated for any length of time. It might have its moments of security and comfort. But this is a volatile situation. One of you will crack.
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There are some days of relief - like today was more even keel than has been. But yes, I recognize one of us is going to crack if we do not get counseling. That's why I want answers to 2 important questions nobody seems to know.... (and I have never put them on the forum previously but have asked in varying other places)
1. How can I tell if he (as an abuser) is approaching crisis stage .... (So I do not inadvertently step on a land mine I didn't know was there ... But rather just have him evaluated)
2. What states have good mental health care systems that are affordable?
That's it.
But ... The answers I generally get are "forget all that. Its not your job to fix him or even to make sure he gets help. Just leave."
But there are complications with leaving nobody understands either.
If this was a perfect world I would not be stuck trying to balance 10 different scales at once - but it isn't and I am ... and there is nowhere to go for help.