When therapy ended last year, I was told to build a network. So I tried to get into a self help group for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. I was told to wait, so I did. Now 7 months later the group finally contacted me- yay. Meeting on thursday. But then on the wednesday before that they pushed the meeting to a day when I have another obligation. One time in summer I had an appointment for a counseling interview and the lady didn't show up.
It is so frustrating to be told there are safe spaces for this topic when they are so hard to find. I feel so scarred and broken and like I need to hide that every day. Not even a designated assocciation who works on this considers me important enough to help me out and not push meetings short notice or just not show up for a meeting. I feel like I am waiting patiently and its so so so so hard to talk about it anyways and then there are all these external boundaries on top of that. Sorry if I'm just rambling but its all gotten too heavy for me and I'm pulling so much weight alone.