Bebop,

I hope you are fine. I needed to respond to the post you sent earlier today.

I have written letters and sent gifts and pleaded they come down south to visit me. It never happened. I had their father charged with contempt of court because he continually ignored the rules. My older daughter called me that evening. She seemed very distant and very angry and basically made it known not to "ruin our family".

That was the birth of the Memoir, which is the story of my life, the lives of my children, their father, and my family and friends. Also, journals and my geneaology, old family photos. It's been years working on the Memoir, which is very emotionally draining. I do a bit at a time. I was consistently sending them birthday cards and gifts for the years when I thought I knew where they were living. All the years since 1987 I have sent cards, gifts and their father declined to sign off on the Government of Canada's help to children of parents with disabilities. They need both parents' signatures to give each child a special trust fund of money every month until they are 18. He just wouldn't allow me in any aspect of their lives. I have been through hell and back because I love my daughters so much that I am willing to endure it. I'm on meds to calm down anxiety and relieve depression.

Some of you are mommies. You are blessed, just as we all are blessed in many different ways. I'm blessed to have Christopher in my life.