I know n understand the statistics. I have studied them as well as quoted them. However - I know what is best for my situation. What is best is to have knowledge statistics cannot provide me nor the basic abuse guidelines. This is not my first go round with abuse. It has been my the majority of my life. I left once. It did me no good. That was not because of me but because the system failed me. I won't do it again. Now I will do things according to knowledge. I am trying to get answers. If you don't have the answers it is fine, I understand - but giving me information I already know will not change my mind on how I see my situation.

I am not trying to sound rude or hateful or even angry and I am sorry if I come across that way. I know you care and I care about you as well. I simply cannot put myself through something horrendous again though. Right now it is not critical - but I need to know what is before it gets there.

You don't go on a long road trip and not know what the signs of a flat tire or over heated engine are and what to do about them, right? Same thing. I want to know - to be ready.