I had a flash of a memory early in the afternoon. It was of someone close to me, and how they looked as they ate their meal. I already knew at the time this was probably going to be the last meal I shared with them. I would have let that moment seize me today, if it needed to. I know better than to repress it, these days. But it passed gently, and I got on with things.

Some years I make a point to talk to various family members about our losses. Other years (like this one), I don't feel like talking to them about it. I hope it doesn't seem selfish to them. I don't think it does. We are pretty open about our feelings, and they know if it is needed, we will talk.

There's something that's probably going to happen this weekend or next that's likely going to cause a short but intense sadness and loss in me. I haven't decided if I want to write much about it or not, but I figure I should acknowledge it to myself right now, rather than let it fester underneath my consciousness.