Yeah . . . me too.

Oh, I get pretty stern myself. I'm actually fairly retaliatory. After listening to a minute's worth of crap from him, I unload a half hour of byeetchiness back at him. I told him I hope he likes the housekeeping regimen at the nursing home he'll be going to soon. Anyone listening in would have me arrested for elder abuse. I do become abusive myself. Anyone listening in would think I'm over-reacting to things that do sound small. You put that well, Crypts. Little pebbles do feel like boulders. What he does is "triggering," though he doesn't realize it. It reminds me of how nastily critical he used to get in his drinking days. He doesn't critique himself though. I would be begging him for days to shave, or let me shave him. Then I got fed up. Now I tell him, rather than ask him.

Our whole relationship all these years has been characterized by snaping at each other. I look back and think I wasted my life.

I am going to have to arrange a break that probably will entail him going to a nursing home for a few weeks. I have to do something to feel better. He sure isn't going to make that happen. He's an expert at demoralizing a person.