I definitely relate. Sounds like maybe your mom doesn't like taking a lot of responsibilty for her own affairs.

Unfortunately children some times find themselves being drawn into the middle of something that really is not their fault, but parents will use their children as scapegoats and pawns in their feuds. I think it's good that you recognize that is happening in your case.

Sorry you went through that. As to how to get answers, sorry, I don't know the answer to that.