I just listened to the podcast Psychology In Seattle about if therapists care about their patients. Ouch. Eye opening. A lot of these things are techniques in the moment, that feel real to trauma clients, but the therapist doesn't retain it or "hold" the person in mind the way they say( according to the psychologists on the podcast ). I am kind of a sucker for my psychologist, so I havre to really focus on hey he is at thanksgiving and hasn't thought of me since our session a week ago, and he is not "holding " me in mind in all likelihood. Being "held" is supposed to be about object constancy ( some of us didn't develop it well as babies) , so that we feel deeply we are held in mind by our therapist all the time, even if we are not in session. That experience of being held is supposed to be the moment of realizing that, and having the adult version of being picked up and cradled in a parents arms. After writing that lol I am a little queasy, bc I don't really warm up to some of the baby stuff even though I get it intellectually. I do feel intense connectedness to my therapist, and it hurts my feelings in a way I hide from him that he will, in his words. "rip off the field dressing" on long - hidden wounds with intense affection dn attunement, then promptly forget about me. I try to focus on he is a doctor and I am a patient, but the personal subject matter confuses me.