I was going to describe it as kind of a dance. You DO hold a dance partner. But you dont want to be constantly asking, "are we alright?" - i say that because maybe IRL there are times you DO want to be more forthcoming with your partner.

But take this week with my t. First he cancels wednesdays appointment. Then he says he "wont be in" all week. I say, "well, as long as there is football on tv, and college hockey, i know where to find you." He doesnt agree or disagree, just repeats that he wont be in.

At this point, on other holidays, i have asked if he would still be reachable by phone. But i dont feel the need to do that this time. Im not expecting anything i cant handle on my own. It occurs to me now that he might be taking the family to look at colleges? Or otherwise be away? But i already handled my aunt calling, and my neighbors calling.

Im having bad dreams, about work and my mother, but probably im eating dinner too late. Hey, forty dang years of therapy better start paying off sometime!