[Trigger warning for suicidal thoughts] My mom just told me I should be grateful that I'm "better off" or "not as bad" as other people who need service dogs because I was upset I might be pushed aside to receive a prospect for another person who needs a service dog as well but hasn't been waiting as long as me and they expect one from the current litter. I'm super anxious I'm going to be pushed aside and forced to wait longer. I just want something set in stone so I can be at ease and work towards getting my life back on track.

I didn't want to tell anyone my depression has been getting worse and I've actually kept thinking of how much I would be better off dead yesterday as well as having urges to hurt myself. Luckily I'm seeibg my therapist tomorrow but I don't know how to get my boyfriend and mom to understand just because I seem fine doesn't mean I don't need something like another person who has a more visible illness.