Right now I just want someone to hold me. Why can't he just hold me? He's right there. I asked to cuddle but he didn't make an effort to try. I tried. Why is this so hard? I've been doing very good at suppressing my feelings here recently since the last big blow up. I've stopped taking to the guy I was talking to but honestly I really miss my friend. I've been waiting to see if my husband would hopefully play more into what I was telling him about my needs because he said he would try but nothing has changed. I figured maybe I just needed to stop talking about it so much and try to show more effort into being happy with what I have but inside I'm still feeling the same as before. I just try not to think of it anymore. I try to think of how grateful I should be for everything that I have and be appreciative of what my husband does do. Today I guess it was just a little harder to ignore my needs and now I feel like crying and my thoughts are just having a field day.