I actually remember this session well.

For those tuning in for the Info-ism of the day: “I don’t follow standard protocol when doing EMDR.”

Isn’t that, like, actually important when you’re messing around with EMDR?

Clothing: you know those non-tutu dresses ballerinas wear with the gauzy skirts? That, in navy, with matching shoes, and her standard black leggings.

She spent the day Black Friday shopping, but does not herself give Black Friday discounts.

As for the rest, well, for a few weeks now Info has been convinced she’s the second coming of Jimmy Carter and she’s going to sit 3 and me down via Skype and mediate all our problems. To be fair, this was initially 3’s idea, but Info has grabbed the baton and run with it. I have been consistently against it since first hearing of it, and told her no, for which she heard yes. So when I walked in tonight she wants to talk about this three-way session that isn’t going to happen and the first thing she tells me is she thinks I should pay 3. So, I am supposed to pay 3 for talking out a serious rupture that 3 by her own admission caused, for which she herself suggested this three-way session (and I think it’s ethically dicey for her to expect pay for something outside the norm like that that is her idea), plus 3 and I are no longer therapist-client, so can she even legally take pay from me, and, OH, why are we talking about this anyway, since I said no to such a session happening, so no one’s getting paid at all?

I don’t know whether to laugh at the sheer absurdity of it all, roll my eyes at the foibles of therapists, become more cynical about therapists, or go have a session with the punching bag.

Speaking of which, my anti-therapy screeds are apparently nothing to her because they pale beside her engineer husband’s anti-therapy screeds. So I can pretty much go at her as much as I like. A plus, I guess.

And the EMDR? She thinks it will help with the “trauma” of my relationship to 3.

This woman flummoxes me.