Oh, KD - your post means so much to me. Thank you for thinking of me and taking the time to write. I remember your story with your father, and I know that you truly understand

My dad stopped eating this week, and is being sustained with Ensure only. They put a catheter in and he's barely waking up at all now. We're definitely at the end My stepmom said that she is relieved that I'm not going to fly anymore, and that she is sure that he has no awareness at this point about whether I'm absent or not. That's the hard part about this decision - I would feel awful if there is even a remote chance that he is aware of what's happening and simply can't express it - I would never want him to think that I abandoned him during his last hours. Of course, part of me will always wonder about that and feel some guilt, but I'd also feel guilt if I hurt or lost my baby with all of this, so I do feel that in my heart, I'm making the right decision.

My husband said that he woke up the morning that I was due to fly home, and he realized that if I go into premature labor while on the east coast, then he would both miss the baby's delivery and also that she'd be stuck in a hospital THERE for several months. Both of us have commitments at home that would prevent us from being with her on a full-time basis without a great deal of fallout, and neither of us want to be separated from her (or each other) any more than absolutely necessary. I didn't realize that he was stressing out about my traveling, and wow, how unfair I've been to HIM. It's his baby too.

Thanks again KD - I really, really appreciate you reaching out to me. I miss you