Blue, how is everything going? Sorry i've not been around much lately i've been abit up and down.
How did it go on friday? Did you finish your job? I know how you feel about just wanting to uproot and get out of the place you are in now, my ultimate fantasy at times is to just run away, go to the seaside and live in a BnB where i do not have to leave my room or see anyone at all ever...it is a fantasy though, because for one i don't have the guts/energy to get up and sort out getting there ( ) and also i pray that if i keep goiing despite how i am feeling, i will continue to pave the way for my future.
I totally agree if you have had enough of this type of work with these people then why not leave, noone says you have to stick around so if you feel you will be better if you left then you should. But i also think the others are right, sometimes/most of the time despite being depressed and all of the other feelings, we have to use our logic and go along the right paths. That is why i always think to myself that even if i'm feeling the lowest ever in the world, it doesn't give me the right to be rude or not fulfill my responsibilties. I think there is a difference between doing things to save yourself (which is incrediably important!!) and doing things that can hurt others. I am not saying you are doing these things - i'm simply trying to explain what i mean so i apologise if i have chosen the wrong words.
There is so much more to you than what the school and your friends see and i think it is great if you want to give yourself some time to find that person. I hope you keep coming back here so we can all get to know you more.
Abby

ps - i love the honesty of your last post. No sugar coating, no nothing. ""I'm not going to pretend to have morals about this"" - gotta say despite what you're saying, this made me smile.