Hi astoldbyginger, welcome to PC. I think that what your mother is showing you in her behavior patterns towards you the most is how she learned to communicate which as you are seeing now that you have gotten an education and spent time away from her is that she has poor communication skills.

The kind of behavior your mother is exhibiting can actually be considered normal in some cultures too. Going abroad and experiencing a different culture and at the same time getting an education can really be an eye opener, especially when you go back home and see the culture you grew up in in a different light and how that might be constricting in ways you may not have realized before. Your mother sounds like she has some immature patterns of behavior that you can see about her now. This doesn't mean YOU are not worthy of respect, it means she doesn't know how to communicate with you on any different level. It can be a challenge to move back to live with a parent again after being away and maturing, often a parent continues to put the child in a role they unknowingly put that child in when this child is really no longer a child. It sounds like your mother got you playing the old loop she had you in before you left. It's important that you don't allow her to pull you down to her level, as you can see that is a challenge. However, it's important to remember that you ARE living under HER roof and in that you are at the mercy of how she prefers to run HER home and territory. This is why children choose to move away from home so they get to have their OWN territory.