Some of the terminology you used, or more precisely, the concepts you were alluding to, remind me of the way I used to think. That was many years ago but I can sense a separation from the actual feelings. In other words it appears as if you are looking at everything from the outside.

Don't be afraid to embrace the feelings. They may seem like something from another planet right now but if you let them in eventually you will honestly feel them yourself.

Trying to feel the world vicariously is what I've been doing my whole life. It sucks.