Yes, our problems such as you have mentioned are quite similar or even identical.

If you believe your daughter is old enough to learn to keep certain doors closed or whatever, then talk with you wife about possibly coming up with an agreed-upon plan for moving away from using a child-proofing safety gate in place of nurturing.

A small USB stick is an inexpensive way to keep certain things safe from computer crashes or deletions or whatever.

I do not know of any comprehensive solution that can put an end to all of that, but my own "state of mind" is where I place all my efforts in order to reduce my explosions as much as humanly possible. I view my wife, my children, my grandchildren and others as defenseless against my outbursts and then go to work trying to learn to be their guardians and advocate in relation to myself. You are obviously self-aware and someone who cares, so the challenge is to make use of that on behalf of others...and that can include talking with them about how they might best deal with the occasional incident beyond your control.