Drinking is a really hard one for me to avoid. I once had an episode with psychotic symptoms, they didn't progress to the point of losing all check with reality but they came close. Drinking always made it much worse, so I had to avoid drinking. Any gathering or get together where drinking was involved I had to find a way to also avoid disclosing the reasoning behind it. I started losing contact with people even more than I had previously because of the episode itself. I kicked myself every time I drank because of the following symptoms. I chose those times to reflect and gain more determination to do what was healthier for my mental health. I think that's what you need to do. If drinking leads to risky behavior you may have to completely cut it out. Try AA, it may not be for exactly the same reasons as others there but you might find comfort among others who are filled with regret over the things that alcohol has done to them. I know that I always try to limit or avoid all mind altering substances because I know that they can become addictive for me. I once got way too into drinking during hypomania and it was to the point that I ordered a bottle of wine and pretty much drank the whole thing to myself when I was out with friends and my husband and made a complete fool out of myself. My husband gave me a wake up call, I called my psychologist and psychiatrist and we tweaked my meds and I received some support. Luckily the span was a few weeks and it didn't continue after I was properly medicated but it's a lesson I won't soon forget.

You can't change what is done but you can change how you handle it now and how you prepare for the future. Make a game plan for different ways to handle a similar situation, get a friend to help you see your errors, and above all get your meds checked and get tested for sure. Plan B is over the counter now, pregnancy tests are also easily accessible, and usually HIV testing can be done for free at certain non profit clinics.

Don't feel too bad because this is an action in consequence of symptoms. Additionally, other people without the disorder do drink and have risky sex, you are not alone in this outcome. Your brother may feel discomfort but he also loves you and I believe that although his comment may appear to be guilting you into better behavior I think a part of what he was doing was giving you a wake up call that you should take really good care of yourself. It hurts but it may be out of love for your wellbeing masquerading as his own preservation. Some people feel that the best way to help someone is to point out how their actions hurt others. Does that make sense? He probably shouldn't have kicked you while you were down though. Maybe you can talk to him about that, maybe you can disclose your plans of how you will try to change, and maybe he can help. This may help with repairing the relationship and taking responsibility for the things you can control.

Sending love, be good to yourself. Aim for making the things you say to yourself kinder than you would speak to a friend. Give yourself a pass, just learn from the mistake.