I’m an emotional vampire and I play the victim. I feel like a victim, I can’t help it. I thought I was helping people.....I thought I was making a difference by sharing my experience.....I thought that here, unlike in my life, what I said could help others. I didn’t mean to be an emotional vampire.....I thought I was surrounded by them, not one of them. I’m sorry. I do t know how to fix this. I take responsibility......my sister in law is right and I do all of this to myself. I’m sorry I’m such a horrible person and I didn’t mean to take from people.....I thought I was giving back. I want to give back, I always have but I just make it all so much worse and I’m sorry. I love my husband and don’t want to lose him. I’ve tried to be a good wife, not some jezebelle.......I didn’t know what I was doing and I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Please......I am weak and feel so wounded by the world but I see now the staircase to hell I walked right up. I didn’t know. I thought I was logical and grounded most of the time but not once ever have I been. I thought I could make a difference here when I couldn’t make a difference anywhere else. I truly thought I was helping.