The thread on getting worse in psychotherapy got me thinking...
(My apologizes if this is more of a thread for the trauma group, but I find that board triggering for me personally.)

For those of you with trauma and abuse background, has anyone experienced things getting worse before they get better? I’ve shared on here before—I’m six months into weekly therapy, and as an adult in my 30s, I’m processing for the first time in my life the verbal and physical abuse I experienced by my mom growing up, in addition to the sexually inappropriate ways my dad would behave around me. I’m an only child, and I’m only in contact with my dad and he denies anything bad every happened.

I feel lucky to have finally found a really wonderful therapist. He is kind, empathetic, gentle, and let me move at my own pace/ set the topic of our discussions. (His style is pretty close to Rogerian therapy.) I journal and meditate, which both help me clarify and organize my thoughts.

However, I’ve never been on such an emotional rollercoaster since starting therapy! (This is my first time doing therapy.) For the first time in my life, I’m experiencing regular paralyzing panic attacks, and a times of dark, inconsoable depression. Prior to starting therapy, I was a calm, level headed person, although everything was always muted and I felt like I never really experienced a full rage of emotions. I always bring up in session when I have a panic attack, and my therapist and I both agree this is part of the mourning journey. My therapist does worry about my panic attacks and them linked to us moving too quickly, so we move slowly, which is fine for me and my very slow ability to trust.

Anyhow—just curious if people with a similar background have experienced this period of getting worse before it gets better? End of this month will be 6 months/ approx 22 sessions and I’ve never felt worse in a lot of ways! I plan on bringing this up in my next session (“dear T, we just hit the 6 month mark and I feel worse! ), but curious to hear from others if anyone would like to share. Thanks in advance!