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Old Nov 26, 2017, 10:20 PM
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Persephone518 Persephone518 is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2015
Location: ABQ
Posts: 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by cielpur View Post
Interesting. Do you think your bitterness towards your parents is the root cause of your dislike for children and having children? You may find your mind changed about having children, if you explore what caused you to feel and believe that. That may be something to explore with a therapist.
Good question - although I hope you're not implying that disliking and/or not wanting children is something that needs to be "fixed." (Which in turn implies that parenthood is the only natural legitimate choice, compared to the alternative, and that everyone "should" want to become a parent.)

Personally, I think a distinction should be made between disliking children and not wanting them. The former is often a reason for the latter, but plenty of people who know that parenthood isn't something they want out of life still like kids just fine. For instance, several of my childfree friends are teachers. Not a profession they would be drawn to if they disliked children. They genuinely love the kids they teach - they just wouldn't want to be around kids 24/7.

Me? I just plain don't like kids in general. I didn't even like them back when I was a kid myself! I can't deal with the noise and the rambunctiousness (screaming babies and whiny toddlers send my anxiety through the roof!), and my personality type requires complete independence and near-constant solitude, or else I feel suffocated.

And yes, I too come from a family with a lot of hereditary illnesses. I can't legitimately be resentful toward my parents for this because they honestly didn't know about any of it when they conceived me. But here's the thing: even if I came from a genetically perfect lineage (not that such a thing even exists), that wouldn't change the fact that I find children in general obnoxious and can't stomach the idea of carrying, bearing, raising, or even living with them.

Can't speak for the OP, but that's my take on the question. My therapist asked me the same thing a while back and this is how I replied. She could dig it.
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