Though I'm much younger than you, I experienced the same when my mother tried to manipulate me to do whatever she wanted, but I set up boundaries to stop her from being tiresome. If she continued, I'd say, "I'm tiring of your nasty attitude!" and walk out of the room. This action reversed her controlling manner, putting me back in the 'driving seat'. After several attempts to control me, Mum gave up.

When mothers become used to having their children around them, even if the children have become fully adult, they become increasingly dependent, but you need to put up boundaries so her sees that her clingy behaviour is not working.

You are quite within your right to leave home any time, but once you set in motion your ambition and she gets into a rage, that is her way of using controlling attitude to make you feel guilty, so you must resist it.

Prepare yourself for your mother to escalate her behaviour. A manipulator will not give up control without a fight. She may make all sorts of threats, but hold your position. She will accuse you of "being mean" and start crying about your uncaring attitude, even towering over you with her hands on her hips and glowering, "Your poor old Mum!"

I've heard it all before. If necessary, end the battle by "agreeing to disagree." Hold your position. Be prepared to repeat yourself many times until she relents because your mother is, after all, older than you and may begin to weaken. My mother did. Switching from anger and control she became dreadfully anxious since her husband left her and now I am the one who has become her official carer.

My partner Dixie and I live at home since I have two younger sisters and they need encouragement and support, too.

Pursue your dreams, but distance yourself for a while until the job of your dreams becomes established and then perhaps your Mum will see that you love her just as much, but you have a life to live, too.

All the best,
Julie