(((((((((Elsa))))))))) Few (daresay,
none) of us always live up to our best selves.
Especially when we've got BP and/or other MI to deal with(!) It's only human. You are being so very hard on yourself.
You are a valued member of this community.
We give help when we can, and accept help when we need it. BOTH sides are 100% OK. You've helped a TON. Please don't feel bad that you have hit a need patch. We ALL do.
We're all in this together.

It's ok. It's why we're here.