I think you are being a good mum by setting bed times for 10 pm which allows your daughter to have sufficient sleep. I agree with most of what you posted, but while our own mother suffers severe anxiety, my partner and I have become 'Mum' to my little sisters.

'Belle has just turned 13 and goes to bed at 8pm.
Mandy has just turned 16 and goes to bed eary at times when she needs, but for both teenage sisters, I let them stay up a little longer on Friday or Saturday nights providing they finish their home schooling coursewor. Both sisters are not troublesome.

We set two important rules. (1) If my sisters are on messenger chat with their home schooling friends, they keep their bedroom door open so we can see them.

(2) One hour or more before bedtime they stop using their phones and iPads/laptops and no phones are allowed in their bedrooms at bedtime either. This is because phones and devices give off a blue light which will interfere with sleep.

At 14, I was getting quite fashion-conscious, but again my mum disallowed me to wear too short skirts. She wasn't too hard on me wearing sleeveless tops because our summers in Majorca where I was born can get very hot! I had friends, guys and girls whoe were always nice, and I'd bring them home and mum used to approve. That said, I was never troublesome, often preferring to stay at home doing music practice. I'm a Grade 8 pianist and good guitarist, so all my friends are musical instrument-related.

Just a point about 'bundling up' your daughter warm for winter. Using natural fibres such as merino wool vests, hoodies and knitted merino wool hats means we don't have to be bundled up too much. This is because merino wool even when wet or damp remains warm against the skin, whereas synthetic fibres such as fleece when wet, remain cold and will wick away our body's warmth and in really cold wet weather, synthetic fibre clothes coud cause hyperthermia.

Do you give your 14 yo daughter a small monthly allowance? I do for Belle and Mandy. If they donate to charity, my partner and I will increase their next monthly allowance a little so as reward them for motivation in giving.

My partner who is 20, going 21 is an accountant. I've known her for years. She's sived with us for four years, we are family with mum and help her, too.

Julie