In reading some posts recently, I was reminded of how my T pathologized so much about me. Now I'm much better but find myself arguing in my mind with him about how something pathological is instead ok.
People always say the client is supposed to internalize the T. But I am internalizing disagreement.
It really harmed my self-esteem. It's not that I wasn't aware of these things before T. I wonder if accepting them is better than trying to 'rid' myself of them.
*Pathologizing and trying to change someone shows you don't accept them as they are. While supporting someone by believing in them, encouraging them, or showing them their strengths demonstrates care and acceptance.*
I was also thinking of a Ts blog post entry:
Quote:
|
“I understand, Beth, that it’s very difficult to give up on wanting the love and caretaking you never had, but there’s no way to get that kind of caretaking as an adult. It doesn’t mean you can’t be loved and cherished, but you can’t go back to being the child and, in the end, it does feel much better to have confidence in your ability to take care of your adult self.”
|
Why give up love and caretaking needs? Of course if they are unrealistic. But why not find a partner who leans more on the caretaking side?
For example, I have a need for protection. I've dated protective men in the past and think I can be satisfied with that scenario. In reality, everyone would have a perfect sense of self, unwavered by the influences of others. But that's not going to happen. Especially if one's partner hasn't gone to therapy and dealt with their past.
I don't think people's needs and longings go away, at least not for some of us. We just accept them and learn to deal with them better. but why not turn them around and use them as strengths, or as a platform from which to build a positive strategy, like I mentioned above?