If I may,, I have had the same issue when I was forced into therapy. It brought up so many horrible memories and I got even more depressed than I ever thought could be possible. What I found to help me deal with my past, and it got me out of my funk. And I found out how to find my inner me and learned to forgive myself, love myself and just be a better overall person. I went to Preside meditation by Artie Wu. Changed my life.