Hi,

Your wife seems to keep changing her mind on whether she wants to separate or not. Constantly moving the goal posts which must be very confusing all round. Does she want to separate or is she using that to try and get a reaction from you. You both need to talk through what you both actually want, not what your family wants but what you two want. Is this relationship one that can be saved, only if both of you want that, you might consider couples counseling.

I will say though, that this relationship cannot continue as it is. Living under one roof as brother and sister is going to be strained and very lonely.

I don't think the ED had much to do with this as your wife took an instant dislike to your family but for future reference it is worth going back to your doctor about that as there are good treatments that work.

So communicate and find out if your wife is really serious about separating or willing to go for couples counseling.