I know you are going through so much too, and it is absolutely terrible. I hate not knowing how I am going to feel like from one minute to another. Today I got a card from my girls' school about a school event they are doing tomorrow. Free admission for them, and with my admission and skate rentals it was only going to be $9. Normally we don't have the money to do anything, but this we could afford. However when they asked if they could go, all I could say was I'm not sure. I would like to try to go, but it all depends on how I am feeling tomorrow - if we don't go, it's not that they did something wrong, just that I didn't feel well. How fair is it that I can't even guess how I'll be feeling 24 hours from now, how fair is it to them? . I want to give up, but somehow I've got to hang in there, if not for me, for my husband and kids.

I want you to hang on too. You are a wonderful person going through a horrible illness and I do understand how it feels. I just wish we didn't have to go through this. I keep hoping my new meds will somehow "solve" everything, but I feel like that may be wishful thinking. We both have to keep going, no matter how hard it is, no matter how much we want to give up. I feel so weak, but I have to keep telling myself that no matter how bad I feel, I am stronger than this. And you are too.