Basically, I have worked for just about 10 years of my young life thus far. Aside from summer internships I've worked 4 other jobs now. And literally every job I have, including the one I got sucked into now and have been in for a little over two months, makes me depressed.

I had terrible depression in the past, (in my late teens), so I can quickly pinpoint the signs.

I was quite content in the 9 months before this job when I was working freelance; I had lots of time to work on my craft but I was not making much money. I fell into temptation because of concerns from my family, and sent out a handful of job applications hoping nothing would come of it, but I ended up getting two call backs and one was from a job I thought sounded like it was something that I could really learn from and would help me get better in my field.

However, as of now, negative feelings have returned; I stay up late so I won't have to go to sleep, fearful of eventually waking up to the next day. Low energy. Poor eating habits. An overall feeling of gloom, and suicidal thoughts.

When I was younger I felt very guilty and trapped because when I would explain what I was experiencing to people and related it to my job, their response was always that I should basically suck it up. Those kind of feelings have also returned, however I don't want to do what I've done before which was to stay anyway, while dying a little everyday. My probation period for my current job is set to end about 4 weeks from now and I am mustering the courage to inform the guy I report to that I don't intend on continuing on a full contract. I planned on doing it today, but I noticed that on a couple occasions throughout the day and a few last week as well, he tries to get snappy with me. This made me not want to go through with it today since I did not want to give the impression that I was doing it out of spite for what he said.

Basically, I plan on returning to freelancing and to start my own company. Has anyone else ever done something like this? Am I the only one who just can't tolerate working for others?