I think the more comfortable one is with one's self, the more comfortable one is with other people. I don't think it can work the other way around, from the outside in, it has to work from the inside out.

When someone pisses me off, I try to stop and look at what my problem is, shut them out completely from my thinking as it's not their problem that I'm pissed off. If we're holding guns, the trigger might be the other person but it's not the other person who pulls the trigger!

If someone gets jealous, it's because they're out of whack somewhere in the "I own you, no one else can look at you that way" situation. People don't own other people, even spouses.

If a spouse flirts with someone else in one's view, that's still the spouse doing the flirting and not my business, it's their own; if my spouse has an affair, that's the spouse putting the relationship in jeopardy. However, that it is "flirting" or what it "means" is in my perception, not the person who's doing its perception. Not all conversations between a man and a woman are "flirting" and the viewer from afar has to learn how to read such things, has to know their significant other, personally, to know the "meansing" of such a conversation. Automatic, "hey, fellow don't talk to my wife" doesn't cut it with me. I'm not likely to stick around with such a boor.