I can just share what I'd do in a simiar siuation...Hit up the T. I don't do therapy very often anymore, but have my feelers out there so I know where to go when the crap starts to boil. I see my T maybe once a month & more frequently if things aren't going well. Having solved that for you (yay, me!) I have no idea what to do about the truely important part...your family. All of the feelings you expressed are legit feelings, so perhaps a visit to T would make you feel a bit better? Good luck. It's so hard giving advice when one doesn't fully understand the situation - you're the one livin' in it. I'm just some dumb schmuck slinging stuff around!