In the beginning, as in within the first 6 months, I brought up this subject. He indicated that people with backgrounds like mine sometimes need very long term therapy, and that sometimes just a few years are needed. He said he would be in practice another 20 years... Which brings him to his mid-80's! Does he think I'll need him that long?

I thought the span of 2 years to 20 is quite broad, and I still wonder where I'll land. I'm already 2 years in, and can't fathom leaving now. But at what point am I just in therapy because I love him and am attached to him, versus learning skills that translate into real life relationships. I love being attached to him. But he'll never be my parent, I don't get to be a kid again.

I've considered giving myself a time limit of 5 years total which I think is reasonable. He can help me through this career transition and hopefully help me get my marriage back on track. I'm not sure I want to go down the childhood trauma road. So far a huge chunk of what we've worked on is being able to attach to him in a healthy way. I think we are mostly there, though there are hiccups here and there.

Have any of you has the "length of therapy" discussion? I feel antsy not having a definite end point. But then again, knowing an end date was looming would feel awful. Trying to be practical but it's hard.