I agree with other posters that suggest you ask for a leave of absence when it comes to your education. You deserve to spend as much quality time with your father while he is still living and be there for him as well. All the other fears you have are normal when facing an impending loss of someone you have been so close with in your life. It sounds like your father has made peace with the fact that he is facing an end to life and that is something that can be more accepted if someone is older and has lived a fairly full life and enjoyed having a loving family. It's always harder when you are younger with your whole life in front of you yet to understand how your father can be accepting that he is nearing the end of his life. Also, when a person is terminally ill, they can develop an acceptance along with how their body is getting weaker in ways a young person simply can't understand.