I've been wondering this for some time....... how helpful can therapy really be to a married couple if the biggest issues that occur in therapy are kept from the spouse?

Is NOT including your spouse concerning big issues in therapy very helpful in the long run, to your marriage?

I figure if you are being honest and care about your spouse and want to grow in your relationship with him/her-- then shouldn't most things be shared? If not-- why not? isn't keeping secrets a way of undermining trust?-- which then, may hinder the marriage........

Can transference be a kind of "emotional affair"? I don't know-- I just think if my husband was seeing a woman therapist and he felt sexually attracted to her and expressed that to her and the subject continued-- I think I'd feel like he was having an emotional affair with her-- Just was wondering......would you feel that way if your husband/wife was sexually attracted to their therapist?

this all seems confusing to me...............

mandy