I believe there is s part of me that has done that for me until about 5 years ago.

I always did what was expected and what I thought I needed or had to do.

A major rupture happened with my husband and it affected my internal system greatly.

Since then, I haven't been able to find that part of me.

It's been hard.

My husband doesn't understand, but he has told me that he knows that he has hurt me.

So there's that.

I really don't know what to do with this for myself, and I wish I had words of encouragement for you.

Walking through something gives a person wisdom to share and I'm still in the middle of it, so I don't have words of wisdom.

Thank you for posting this. It does give me encouragement that I'm not alone.