This sucks. I'm so sorry for your loss. Try not to beat yourself up though. Even if you feel you were enabling him, the fact is, you aren't responsible for his death. You, I and a lot -- if not most -- people here know, I'm sure, that it would have probably happened regardless of your "enabling" him. Mental illness can be an unbelievably evil presence in us and no matter whether you were drinking regularly with him or abstaining and isolating yourself from him, the booze and the pills, etc., would have found a way to him if he was desperate enough. From the way you described how he cared for you and his daughter, and how you and her were the only ones who seemed to reciprocate, I highly doubt he would want you to think that you were somehow responsible. Death is never easy, especially when it occurs so seemingly randomly, and even more especially when it is someone so close.

Being mad at him for now giving you your money back (prior to learning of his passing) is completely understandable. It's nothing to worry yourself over. You're not the only person who would have reacted that way. That is actually a pretty normal way to react when you think someone has taken advantage of you and then opted to ditch you. You had no idea what had happened and, especially when people have financial problems (and speaking as one of them), the thought process which led you to think that way is just a natural response to dealing with those of us who are always having to "borrow" money from people because we can't seem to get our stuff together.

As for the family not telling you, that is messed up. He seems to have felt that his family didn't care too much for him and now suddenly they do? Even if they try to pin it on you, I'd argue that he would likely pin more of the burden on them. He seems to have felt abandoned by all but two people in his life -- and you were one of those two. One of the two who cared for him; one of the two he legitimately cared for. If anything, this should make you feel special. I'm a big proponent of the "buddy system" when it comes to mental health issues. Regardless of the illness, we all have a better understanding of each other than non-MI people have of us and us of them. As ugly as the end may have been for him, I bet he took some solace in you just being around -- even if it wasn't too often.

I wish he had been able to get the help he needed and I wish that you weren't having to go through this, but I think that since you are it is totally okay, and even probably essential, that you take a personal day off from work. Whether your boss will understand or not I have no idea, but I think you should do it. Better to call out than to go in and try to work. You'll no doubt be super distracted and won't get a whole lot done anyway because you'll be trapped in your head. Try to relax and remember the good times... I guess. I mean that's what everybody always says, right? "Remember the good times"? But I don't know. I honestly suck at handling death. All I can tell you is, again... you didn't do this. I know deep down you know this... but I also know how erratic emotions can be when receiving such shocking news (especially to those of us who live with bipolar or depression given out naturally erratic moods and emotions).

[Please forgive me if I am misreading your post or getting some of the details wrong. I certainly mean nothing by it if that is the case.]

I hope you feel better soon. Feel free to shoot me a PM if you want or need to talk to someone. I may not personally be the best at handling death and offering guidance or advice in regards to death, but I'm pretty damn good at listening, and I am incredibly empathetic. (Wow that sounds arrogant. It's not meant to, but it is true.)