Sweet irony was a sincere heart to heart, face to face about this very thing with a friend, most recently. How does one that will not harden reach that point of authenticity where those who mince no sense of desire of pleasantries no longer have the power to make or break one's day?
I've been thinking all night at what point have I myself flipped that switch internally? It wasn't recently for me, within the decade for sure however.
I didn't get a full chance to go deeply into what it means to stop being a people pleaser whilst maintaining kindness. Unkindness still does hurt sometimes.
I think it's a matter of work through, a regaining of self confidence and learning to value yourself, despite others.
Maybe for me it was the utter betrayal of any sense of safety in marriage and watching social constructs crumble in its aftermath? Wish I could give you the panacea.
It's a wild world that we live in. Our lives are our own to experience. They're the ones that need to live with themselves lacking integrity. Imaging the inner turmoil and energy spent worrying about others the way that they do?