i gotcha. when i sit down and think about it i realize how rediculous it is for me to be jealous. I guess I try so hard not to put what other people have done to me on him but sometimes it still gets the best of me. In previous relationships my "bad feelings" have turned out to be completely true. and part of the reason is Im trying to sabotage myself. I guess I get the feeling in the mind and heart so that by the time it happens Ill be over it. Then I guess by showing all those negative emotions Im ruining the relationship anyways so whether or not it would have ended naturally, it ends anyways and my predictions become true. I guess none of this ever seemed so clear to me until someone points me in that direction. Hmmm... everything you guys are saying makes perfect sense to me now.

Sorry I hijacked your thread kimmy. this happened to have been something that was bothering me for a couple weeks now so I kinda went off. Ill stop now! lol once again... sorry for the hijack. (but thanks everyone for their input whether it was to me or not, it helped)