Thank you everyone for your replies. I have session in about an hour and want to bring this up at the end. I can appreciate the variety of responses and understand that we all come from different places and have different needs. I also appreciate the honesty from some of you that you'll need to be in therapy a long time, or maybe your whole life. I think I struggle with this possibility in myself, and that's why I get panicky and feel the need to have answers now, when in reality it's probably not going to become clear for me now, particularly in this time of personal/professional flux. T tells me I have, among other things, an avoidant attachments system, so maybe this panicky feeling of being with him too long just comes with the territory.