Hey, You will be fine. I was with my mom when she passed on. It was really wired I have never experienced anything like that. Hospice was there. My mom was on a lot of morphine. But she knew i was there. At the very very end she put her hands in the air and called to her mom. It was wired but I am thinking she is with HER mom and she is at peace. i miss her so much. It has been 7 years and still when something exciting happens in my life I still think "oh i have to call Mom and tell her. But she is gone. I still try to deal with it. But when i am with my kids we always try to think of the funny things that "Grandma used to do and we laugh and it all keeps us strong. My thought is she is at peace and we will be together soon because none of us are invincible. Think of the fun times or special moments and that will pull you through. You may shed a tear but it will be happy tears. And like you I was not close to my mom until i was much older in my 40's. To long of a story to tell. But the short time we had together were good times, and i know i will be with her soon when it is my time.