Yes, you're right - of course. It's the logic vs. feeling/sensation struggle. Usually i'm very responsible.. to a fault but it gets challenging occasionally. It's not helpful to wait until the tipping point. My therapist was proud of me for reaching out before it was too late. Well, hopefully before it is too late. I have so many symptoms I recognize and have prepared for, its really silly to compile them and not use them. I am trying, it's a learning thing - a barrier I have to overcome.

It surely isn't gratifying to be perceived as incompetent but it's usually in my mind the lesser of two evils. I have tried a few times to be more open, it usually doesn't end well. Maybe I'm doing it wrong. I have to think more on this. My work specifically could fire me, possibly legally for being unwell... so maybe when I switch fields after my degree it will be more realistic. As for my inter personal life, I guess I would have to learn to trust people or depend on them... which I don't usually.

hmm