OK so I feel a bit strange writing this, but here go's...

In the bed room I feel like I almost have multiple personality's. Sometimes I love to be man handled, talking dirty and rough to the point I like being softly strangled.

But then other times I am disgusted by my own behavior, and shy to even be seen naked.

And then there are times when I just want it to be soft and passionate.

This can change daily from one extreme to the other.

With my first boy friend I could ask for anything and not be shy, with my last boy friend I could only tell him what to do if I was feeling domineering and rough. With new partners I feel like I'm in my shell and just let them take over.

I don't know how to feel about all this.

I'm scared of what people will think of me. I don't see myself as a slut but sometimes I just want to have sex for hours and hours, and fantasize about women, threesomes, my mind just goes wild. But then other times I'm just so tame.

I don't want to scare men off, and I'm afraid I will when they see the real me. It would have to be hard not knowing what to expect. I'm also afraid if I do just let go I'll do something I may regret and beat myself up over later.

I'm sorry this probably doesn't make sense, I'm just so confused. Does anyone else feel like this, or am I as strange as I suspect?