Hello & Welcome.......

I personally do not view what you are talking about strange or weird, but rather that of a person that likes sex in many different way - kind of fantasy in living color.

Please do not be so hard on your self........ Sex is Good.

P.S.

May I ask? Was there any sexual abuse in your past (as a child) - if Yes, you may also be acting out as a need to try and understand / deal with the WHY's you still have inside.