Thanks for your replies , it's good to hear from people . Also good to hear some are or have been in the same boat . It's no good constantly whining away is it , so that's not what I intend to do , but have to say I think it was all bought on by too many years of pushing myself to the physical and then mental limit at work , then I just broke to a certain extent . If I trace back the signs I think it really started to happen 10 years ago , the first hairline cracks . I'm fortunate , I'm almost there , so just have to stay positive , but it has given me an idea about how tough it must be for someone who suffers mental crumbling at a young age . My goal now is to plan to be able to do something that is constructive when I can escape , not for much money , maybe just as a volunteer . Hopefully to make a difference to a strangers life and not just to increase the wealth of the elite . Thanks boys !